Chore Time…
How we’re staying on track. For now.
I hate to nag. I hate to remind. I hate to ask kids if they’ve done the thing I asked them to do six hours ago that I know they didn’t do, but I’m trying to be polite and ask them again without getting mad.
Kids avoid chores. Kids forget, everything. Kids get distracted.Kids procrastinate like no other, waiting until they know you’re about to hit your breaking point but sometimes taking secret delight in pushing you to the very EDGE.
To tackle this age old dilemma without promises of treats, screen time, or other tempting but not always appropriate rewards…we are trying something new.
First, let’s just address rewards, allowances, screen time and all of that jazz. I’m in full support of any family who uses these and other strategies. In our house, it’s just never worked. I’m also bad at follow-through, good or bad. So if I say something is possible if we get these three things done first, in all likelihood I’ll live about eight lifetimes in those few minutes or hours and completely forget said reward long before bed time and dinner time, and well…when it’s too late to begin said reward…they get justifiably upset.
The goal, in the not too distant future, is to add chores that are considered “above and beyond”. Things that aren’t within the normal scope of the household from day to day, but will contribute to the homestead in other ways. This could be mowing the lawn, weeding in the garden, organizing a meal (with help if needed), more thorough cleaning of communal spaces…things that might take a bit of time and effort. A work in progress, but the idea is that these tasks would allow them to earn a reward in the form of allowance or something else that motivates them (still struggling on this one).
Also, I’m a firm believer in kids learning that while it is their job to grow up, go to school, and generally spread their wings…they are also part of a larger family unit. All of that growth does not excuse them from participating in this family of ours and as such, they have certain responsibilities. These are not onerous or time consuming, and hopefully they are mostly age appropriate (certainly skill appropriate). Not only does this allow the home to run smoother, it also teaches them they can’t spew food all over the table and floor and leave it for someone else to clean up (because it’s their job now). They have to actually pick up their rooms if they intend to invite friends over or have clean clothes for the week because I’m not going to do it for them. We expect communal spaces to remain an acceptable degree of tidy and such items that don’t belong in those spaces should be returned to the place from whence they came. Animals need tending, food needs prepping, dishes need putting away, and so on. If they intend to be housed, fed, clothed, and catered to then there is a certain amount of help they are also expected to give to the household.
Our latest (and in all likelihood, not the last) way of organizing chores revolves around popsicle sticks. The goal is that we lay out the sticks of certain chores that need to be completed before school/play and we need and expect those to be completed before they disappear to read or play. Generally, these are self care type things and usually involve a few kitchen and animal chores. When we actually remember to set them out, the kids actually respond well as they have a “list” of sorts of things they need to attend to and no nagging from parentals to contend with.
The goal, in the not too distant future, is to add chores that are considered “above and beyond”. Things that aren’t within the normal scope of the household from day to day, but will contribute to the homestead in other ways. This could be mowing the lawn, weeding in the garden, organizing a meal (with help if needed), more thorough cleaning of communal spaces…things that might take a bit of time and effort. A work in progress, but the idea is that these tasks would allow them to earn a reward in the form of allowance or something else that motivates them (still struggling on this one).
So far, on school days it has helped to lower my frustration level but it’s still very much a work in progress. Being rather independent and willful creatures, they find all sorts of imaginative ways to circumvent tasks and drive us to distraction. Yet, it’s a step forward and one that feels worthy of pursuing…for now.